Kallaatta kallapparuppaatta

Kallaatta kallapparuppaatta… We all are shouting together. It is a game, very interesting one. Very tricky too. We can play this game with any number of girls; the number just has to be even as we need to divide us into two groups. Sometimes we don’t mind having unequal number of girls, as we can not say no to any girl if the gathering happens to be an odd number in total.

Except our group leader we are all sitting on the floor, one behind one, stretching our legs straight. Wearing full-length skirt is very important for playing this game. We use the skirt to cover our legs fully. Our group leader comes to each one of us and hides that stone, between our legs and we have to cover it with our skirts. Sometimes my brother Senthil insists on including him in our game, then we ask him to bring a big towel and he spreads it over his legs, after sitting. The trick is that we should not let the other group know who is really having the stone, as there is only one stone. So, we all pretend as if we are hiding the stone. The group leader can keep the stone as well, which she does sometimes. She hides her hand by wrapping her skirt several times over her hand. She could be holding the stone, or the stone could be with anyone of us. Not even the group members know with whom the stone is, it is only that girl, with whom the stone is, knows about it. Then we all shout “kallatta kallapparuppaatta” together, moving our legs sideways, away, close, away, close. It is very rhythmic. It goes very rhythmically with our kallaatta kallapparuppaatta. As we play this game in the evenings, the darkness help us hide the stone better. The bulb in our street light has lost its last breadth yesterday, making our game even more interesting. The game is the other group has to find out the stone. If they find correctly, they get points. We will stand up and leave the ground for them to sit and start. If they don’t find the stone, we get points, and we continue the game. Of course the whole luck of the game depends on who starts the game. We decide that by playing pulling-at-the-line. Group leaders go head to head, stand on a line, pull each other (one leg at the back to gain strength). Whosoever pulls the other group leader to her side wins and gets to start the game. Kutti is our group leader, and she has won this time. So, we started the game.

“Lathapponnu…” We all had to pause the game and I go to aachchi. (one information is revealed that the stone was not with me). “Aachchi, I am playing”. “It is dark and getting late. Come eat and sleep”. “I am in the middle of a game. I will come once I have finished it”. “What kind of a game is that that needs finishing so importantly? Are you going to loose your head if you don’t finish?”. “Aachchi, I am not hungry; I am not feeling sleepy either. I will come once when I have finished the game”. “Who are you playing with”? “Kutti”. “Eeh, Kutti, come here. Aren’t you Rengamma’s daughter?”, “Yes Paatti”. Now Kutti is also standing in front of my aachchi, answering her questions. “Have you had food?” Kutti is worried. She scratches her head. I can tell that she is trying to figure out which answer is going to be a less-problem-bringing one. “No paatti”, her words come out of her mouth before her decision-making-thinking is finished. “Why are you playing in empty stomach”? She goes blank. “Go and eat. Let Latha also eat. You can play tomorrow”. “And, what is that you are holding your skirt so high like that, showing your legs?”. She had to drop the skirt that was wrapped around her hand. The stone was in her hand. Shit. Aachchi has made us reveal our stone. The game is lost. I turn my head towards Jaya, the other group leader, and tell her, “Jaya, we will do it again”. “We will drop Latha from our game. Her aachchi or amma or her chithi always interrupt our game and ruin the fun.” I feel like crying. I look at aachchi, “Good. You are not in the game anymore, so, you can come and eat first”. “Look, they dropped me from the game because you people interrupt the game all the time and ruin the game and fun for others too”. “Adengappa (an expression expressing sarcasm), what kind of game is that? Are you all playing to win a kingdom? Or, are you all going to bring rice for tommorrow’s ulai (While cooking rice in traditional method, water is boiled first and rice is added when the water reaches boiling point. The water boiled before adding rice is called ulai, which synonymously mean food)”. Kallaatta kallapparuppaatta.. Is it Jaya’s group? I can’t hear very well. Seems Kutti has lost the previous round.

Name

I am upset. Malar was like a star today. When she comes to our class, everyone wants to be friends with her. I am a kind of loser with this name, no any other person has. Whenever Shanthi is referred, they always ask me, which Shanthi? Then I tell them which Shanthi she is. There are two Shanthis in my class. But, there is only one Rajalakshmi in my class, but still people ask me which Rajalakshmi? Then I tell them her father's name. Some people still don't get it. Then I tell them her mother's name. For some other girls, their brother's or sister's name works well too. But, in my case, they ask me who I am, when I tell my name, they know. Because, there is no other Premalatha in my whole class, in my whole school, also in my whole street, also in my whole relative houses and in my friends houses. I was surprised when Shanthi named her younger sister (just born you know) Premalatha. There was another surprise to me that she gets to name her sister. I don't understand why would she want to name her sister with my name? She said she liked it. I don't like it! I am going to ask mother why did she name me like this. "Well, we did ask your suggestion, but this is what you liked too". Mother is laughing. Why are you laughing? Is it a funny name? If it is a funny name that makes you laugh, you could have told me and changed my name! "I don't believe you. If at all you had asked me I only would have suggested the name Malar". "Malar"? "Yes, you know, Paappathy Teacher's daughter Malar, that Malar". "Oh, right". "Next time, if we can change your name, we will definitely ask you for suggestion". "Do people change name?" "No, not generally". "Then why did you say that we will change name and you will consider my suggestion?", "Well, because you don't like your name, we should do something about it, like changing name". "Is it possible? how will they all know it is me still?" "We will tell them". "how"?, "Well, think about a new name for yourself for the time being, we will figure out how should we tell everyone about it. OK"?

Thenmoli is a good girl too, except that, her mother is not as popular teacher as Paapathy teacher. I don't like to be in Then's mother's class. Also, when Then comes, no one really cares about her. And there is Lakshmi teacher's daughter. She is in my class, so she is always there, so no one really treats her any different from me, and above all, her name is Latha!! I don't want that name. Shanthi is cool. You know, just father's name wouldn't be sufficient to make you completely differently identifiable from any other Shanthi. Wait, if I am Shanthi, then it goes like, that military man's daughter Shanthi.. Oh crumps! They will know it is me. Nobody is going to ask another question. Even if they tell Ponniah's grand-daughter, no another question either. There is also this, "Muthulakshmi teacher's sister's daughter" I am known by...

PS: I was told that I was named "Angayarkanni" originally, which my father thought that it was too old fashioned and then they changed it to Premalatha. I always remember that name, as it was the name I could have been known by..

must read: En peru padum padu (I will translate for non-tamils, later).

Vaangithaa, Vaangithaaren (eq. to Trick or treat).

Info: the next day to Diwali day is (was?) celebrated as muthaalamman festival, a festival of local Goddess, Muthaalamman.

Senthil is wearing a mask. I am a little shy to put the mask on and not sure why should I do it. I don’t do things that I don’t understand. Senthil is all that “enjoy” type and I am all that “why” type. So, there we are Senthil with his mask on and I, with my face as my face. The main point is to show our new clothes to everyone. All our elders give money. Its collection time!!! Grinning from ear to ear, we both depart. We are holding a plate with thiruneeru (ash used in prayers, also applied on the forehead, similar to bindi, except that it is applied in a rectangular shape) and some coins Chithi gave us just to make it look like our collection has already started. Actually we don’t need to fool anyone. Maattukkaara Paattaiyaa (the grandfather, who has bulls and cows) certainly will treat us. We just have to ask him. But we like to have that starter money on our plate. It makes us happy. It makes us feel that we have already collected some money. We run straight to maattukkaara paattaiyaa’s house. Paatti and paattaiyaa welcome us laughing and smiling and so much noise in their house too.
“Vaangithaa, vaangitharen”. Senthil shouts from behind the mask.
“Eh, look, Senthil and Latha are here. Bring that money”. Karuvaayan chiththappa comes out.
“Eh, you have to say it otherwise we won’t give you any money”.
Senthil shouts with so much joy, “vaangithaa, vaangithaaren”. I am there standing, bending sideways, smiling and just looking at them.
“No, no, you have to say too. Where is your mask?”, chithappa asks.
Pattaiyaa interferes, “eh, do not talk to a girl child like that. She doesn’t have to wear any mask or say anything. Didn’t you hear her brother saying? That includes her too”.
Chiththappa doesn’t give up. “No, no. If senthil says, he gets the money. Look at him, he is wearing a mask too. I won’t give money to Latha, she is not a wearing mask, nor is she saying “vaangithaa, vaangithaaren”.
“Didn’t I say not to talk to our girl child like that? What are you thinking of her? She is from our family. She is brought up with so much culture. Did you think she will go around and shout in front of others houses for money? Did you think she will put on the mask like a clown? It is ok for a boy. That is why Senthil is wearing mask. Senthil is the man of their house. He is taking care of her. He is going with her. When he is there, it is for both of them and he always includes her", Pattaiya pulls the his "man of the house speaketh" card.
“Chiththappa, look, I am wearing new clothes”. I spin full in one go and show him my new skirt, grinning ear to ear. Senthil is jumping out of excitement.
“Chiththappa, look, look, I am wearing new clothes too”.

We get good collection there, as paataiyaa, paatti, and three chiththappas give us money separately. We run straight back to our house to show our collection. Mother tells us the other houses to go next and our day continues. We come back home after visiting all the houses. It was a good-collection day.

Dog of the Wind

Hello!

Since Prema asked me to join here and write I thought maybe my first piece should be an introduction to who I am. The simplest would be to say "I am a mongrel". For a long time that worried me, but in recent years I've realised there's a lot of joy in being a mongrel.

I was born in Africa in a British colony. At first I thought I was British. Well... for three years I WAS British, but then Southern Rhodesia declared it's own independence and I became a member of a rebellious non-acceptable country instead. Then Rhodesia became Zimbabwe and they took away my nationality. Now I belong nowhere. I thought I was British, but then I did my family tree and found that I had as many ancestors walking Europe and the Middle East as I had in the British Isles. I thought I was Christian, but when I went to school my religious teacher told me my beliefs weren't "right" and researching our family tree led me to distant Muslim cousins in Turkey, one Buddhist, some Jewish family in America and way too many Christian variations to list.

So I have thought a lot of things only to find out they were illusions. The truth is I am a mongrel. I have no country I can hold as my ancestral home, not even a single continent I can claim as "mine". I have no single religion that runs through my family history alone. When I look in the mirror I see my grandmother's Irish face, my grandfather's Scottish nose, my father's English hair.. and in all this European-ness I have Persian eyes from some long lost ancestor.

There's a saying in Southern Africa - to be a "dog of the wind". Something homeless and restless, a person who has no roots. I am a dog of the wind and it can feel lonely. For a while it made me feel rather lost, but then I remember the blessings it brings me. If I belong to nothing I can also belong to everything. If I stand with my ancestry on different continents I can be a bridge between different cultures. I can enter many places of religion and find God... at times like that it feels good to be a mongrel. :-)

So I'm going to write from my own mongrel viewpoint. My British-Colonial mixed-up cultural muddled-religious self. I hope it will entertain more than it offends, but mostly I hope it helps to add another layer to prema's wonderful stories of her own culture and childhood memories.

Kolam

image courtesy wikimedia-kolam

I am going to draw Kolam today. I have specially practised that new Kolam for this day. I have already bought kolappodi (finely powdered limestone, different type of limestone), when I went to buy whitewash-limestone from the kiln. Mother used the whitewash-limestone to whitewash the house. House looks all new, like wearing new clothes, like me. I went to the vaasal with my kolappodi. Chiththi has found out what I am upto. "Eh, what are you going to do?" I am going to draw kolam". "No, don't do it. By the way how did you get kolappodi?" "I bought it". "Who gave you money?" "I bought from my pocket money" "Akka, look at your daughter" She is calling my mother. Neither herslef nor me are really afraid of my mother. She just wants to make noise about my kolam. She comes with a bucket of water behind me. "What?" !! "Why do you need that water for?" "I know you cannot draw kolam well. so, if you screw up, I will clean the vaasal". "I won't screw up, I have practised it well." where did you practise?" "In my notebook" "So, you have wasted your notebook!! Akka, look at your daughter. We buy her notebooks for her study and she wastes them for kolam.", then looking at me, "Kolam has to be practised by really doing it with kolappodi. Without that you won't get the fluency". "What, you will let me practise that in our vaasal, when you are coming with a bucket of water like this?" "What do you need kolam for? our vaasal is small, bulls walk by it and they will ruin all the kolam and so you should not draw kolam. In our house we don't do kolams. That is only for those komuttichettyaar ladies." "Why it is only for them?" "Listen, no kolam in our house". "I am not going to do it everyday. it is special day. Please do not ruin it." I have already cleared the area in the vaasal. I start drawing the dots, using which I have to draw the kolam. I start counting the dots. There are two types of kolam dot style I know. One is, alternate line of dots are inbetween the dots in the previous one. we call them "idaip pulli" litterally meaning "inbetween type dots" and the other type in which the dots are in line with the dots in the previous line. In both the cases, the centre line will have maximum number of dots and then it will keep on decreasing both sides, until we reach one dot or sometimes three dots only. So, it is always the centre line has odd numbered dots. In few special cases they are even numbered and finish at two dots, like the one I have practised for today. It has 14 dots at the centre line and it has two centre lines. I start counting the dots and continue my kolam. "Eh, eh, they are not straight. Didn't I tell you, you cannot do them". "They are fine". I conitnue. Karuvayan chiththappa goes holding his two bulls. "What mathini, Latha is drawing kolam. And, what are you doing with bucket of water?" "She cannot draw kolam, so I am going to clean it once she finishes it". "Latha, Chithi is going to clean it anyway, so, why are you drawing kolam?" "Please tell her to leave it chithappa. I have been practising it for weeks. I can draw well. And, it is special day too. " "Mathini, let her do whatever she wants. Even if it is not nice, let it be there. Why do you want to clean it?" "See you are going with your bulls. They are walking on the dots. Already two dots are lost because the bulls have stepped on them. In few hours all the bulls from all the houses and cows from all the houses will go by this vaasal and all the kolam will be lost. That is why I want to clean it straight away." If the bulls and cows ruin it, let them ruin it. The kolam will be there for atleast few hours. but you want to clean them straight away. that is worse isn't it? " "That is why I am telling you not to draw it in the first place". "Mathini, let her do. She is small after all. Why are you fighting with a small girl?" "So, small girl should stay as small girl. why is she drawing kolam?". "You draw lathappillai. I support you". But he leaves for the farm with his bulls. He has lot of work to do in the farm so, he cannot stay and support me. Chithi is sitting there drinking her coffee watching me drawing my kolam. Myself and Murugeswari akka have practised these kolams and we have been planning for days. We both have bought this kolappodi without our folks' knowledge. I can tell she is having similar session in her house, except that, she does not have chiththi, (well her chithithis live separately), but her mother compensates for that. I have almost finish......what, it is going wrong. I stop for a minute and look at the lines, have I drawn correct? It looks like one dot is missing. "Didn't I tell you, you cannot draw. I knew it!!!" "no, no. it is fine. I am just checking it". "Why do you need checking if everything is fine?", so I stop checking and continue to draw. Almost there. Looks like it is alright, except that it does show that I do not have real practise in drawing kolam in vaasal using real kolappodi. There you go, I have finished. I look at the kolam from all sides with so much satisfaction. Blang!! a bucket of water dissolving my limestone kolappodi washes the vaasal making it cleaner!!

Interactive kolam

Diwali

"Wake up, wake up".
It is only 4 am. But I am excited. I wake up. The hot water is ready for me. I brush my teeth quickly. Then I take my new clothes out and look at them happily. I am going to wear them today, yaay!! Nice warm wash with the water poured from big pot to my bucket. Aunt keeps bringing the hot water complaining. "You waste too much water. Your mother is slaving in the kitchen heating water for everyone. You need to finish and come out soon too. People need to go in after you...." She doesn't stop. I take my time and indulge myself in.  I like the smell of the green arappu. It is powdered leaves of a tree in our area. We use it to wash our hair. I like the fresh clean feeling of the hair after arappu wash. I quickly wash the body and come out. I don't apply turmeric on my face. I don't like the unnatural colour it gives to my face. I am out. The clean warm towel is comforting.  It is still dark. "move move, move away. Others have to wash their hair. quick, move". I put on my new clothes. I dry my hair with the towel. Will have to wait for the sun to be out to get the hair dried properly. 
There is so much noise outside. I hear chiththappa shouting. "stay away from that cracker. it will come onto your face if you stay that close." He is talking to my brother, Senthil. Senthil is all brave type and enjoys fire crackers. He is very noisy too. He is laughing loud. It must have been him, who lit the crackers... 
bhooom, patapatapatapata... 
It gave me a fright. Oh it is that saravedi. A type of firecracker that goes on continuously for sometime.  It is his favourite. There is this gun-cracker he likes a lot as well. I don't like any of these noisy things. 
"Akka, come come," he is calling me. I go out in my new clothes. I stand leaning on the door frame and smile at him. 
"Akka, come, and lit this one." 
"No. I don't like."
"Vamma, come and lit this cracker, you will like it", chiththappa calls me. 
"No". 
Senthil laughs at me. "Give her that maththappu, (the one that doesn't make noise, but gives out flowery fire). She is very scared of noisy crackers chiththappa." He laughs again. "Come and try this." 
He lits another saravedi just to scare me. This time I am not too scared, as I expected the noise. But, still little bit scared as the noise does scare me. 
bhoooom, patapatapatapata... 
I shake a little. 
Senthil laughs loudly. "See, didn't I tell you that she is scared." 
I am still leaning on the door frame. 
"Come to the vaasal, don't stay there. It is Theevali and you have to enjoy as well". 
Chiththappa calls me. I go to the vaasal. 
"Chithappa, I like sangu maththappu and poomaththaappu". They are all that softies, no noise, only flowery fire. Sangu maththappu spins all over the place and we have to jump to get away from its flowery fire. I like that. I lit a sangu maththappu, it spins, I hold my new skirt and start jumping and running all over the vaasal to get away from the flowery fire. 
Senthil laughs at me. He lits another saravedi. I lit another sangu maththappu. He laughs and I jump.

I want you to be the best - I Oh, that’s a Giraffe

Yeaeay!!! This aunti and uncle play with me. Yeaeeey!!. I am going to bring my ball!! I jump and jump. “how are you, how are you.. what did you do this weekend.. what did you do this weekend… we went to zoo. Oh that must have been nice…. Oh yes, she particularly enjoyed it…. Oh yes, children like zoos. Don’t they…. She was talking all about it even after we have left the zoo… Do you remember she was telling all animals we saw there, even yesterday… Oh yaah. Come here baby; tell uncle and auntie what you did you see last weekend? Where did we go last weekend”… I was jumping and jumping and what.., is he talking to me?. “Come here, come here”. Oh yes, he is talking to me. I stop jumping and go to dad. Dad holds me. “Do you remember where we went last weekend?”.. I look at him. He is tall, even when sitting. What? “Do you remember where did we go last weekend”?, “where”?, “You have to tell”, what? “do you remember we went with that aunt, and uncle and their daughter Kavya.”, Ohhhh, Kavya, she was nice. She was big. She knew many things. She was walking fast and talking fast. She even dressed in big clothes. She was big. I want to become big like her. “baby, do you remember where did we go with Kavya?”, what?, oh, I got it. I know. We saw many animals. I jump and jump. “Stop jumping. Tell this auntie and uncle where did we go last weekend with your friend Kavya”, who, my friend? Jenni? Jenni is very nice. She plays with me. I play with her too. She is very nice. I will see her tomorrow. I go to school, you know. Oh. I don’t want to go to school…. “hey, hey, listen. Where did we go with Kavya? Tell this aunti and uncle”. “It is alright. She might have forgotten. It is week you see”. “No, no. she doesn’t forget. She has very good memory. She was telling yesterday. She can tell. Tell baby, where did we go in our car with kavya?” in our car? Kavya? I like our car. It has very nice window. When it rains, I can see it through the window. I can see flowers through the window. I can see many things through the window. It is a magic window. “Hey, you were telling yesterday, do you remember, zooo? Where did go with Kavya?” Oh, I know, we went to zoo with Kavya. “Zoo”…. “See, she doesn’t forget”. Everyone is laughing. Auntie and uncle are looking at me with so much surprise. “Did you go to zoo”? “Yes”. I nodded. “Did you go with Kavya?” “Yes”. I nodded. “Is Kavya your best friend?” “Jenni is my friend”… “Jenny is a girl in her nursery”… “Oh!”. “Is Jenny your friend?” “Yes” I nodded. “Who else is your friend?” “Anna. She is very nice too. Barbara, Dave, Katy, Steve, Stephanie, Warwick, Michelle”. I jump once for every friend. “Oh, you have got so many friends”? I smiled, “yes”. “Who is your best friend?” what? “Who is your best friend?” what? “Is jenny your best friend?” I am confused. But, nodded anyway. “ok, ok, baby, tell where did we go last weekend, with Kavya, in our car, drdrdrdrdrrr like that, do your remember?” what? “You just now said, zoo, remember, zooooo”, yes, zoo. I am still confused. “What did we see in zoo?” What? Do you remember that Giraffe? Oh that giraffe? “Yes, Giraffe!” I jump and jump. “What else did you see?” what? “she can tell all the animals she saw there. She tells so correctly. These days children remember many things”. I have to tell correctly. I start breathing fast inside. “What else did you see”? em, em, em, a monkey. It was funny. Jumping all over. “Monkey!!” “that is correct”, ah, I have said correctly!!! I jump and jump. “But, what did you see next to Giraffe?” what? “What did you see after seeing Giraffe?” em, em, what? “Listen. You said on the other day, do you remember. I was telling you on our way back home all the animals we saw there in order?” em, em, em…. “I think she is in a different mood”. “No, she is just shy. She can tell all the animals in the same order as we saw there. “What did we see after Giraffe? Bring your animal book, they are all there in that book”. I went to my book corner. I know my animal book. I picked correctly and ran to daddy and smiled. “Open the book”. I opened the book. Oh that is a Giraffe!! “It is a Giraffe!” “You have already told giraffe. What else did you see there? Open the book and point out all the animals to uncle and auntie in the same order as we saw there in the zoo, the zoo, we went with your best friend Kavya”